For the past 1 month, my emotion has been like a roller coaster ride. Up and down, again and again. The cycle never ends.
Throughout these years, I thought you're someone that I could confide in whenever I have problems. I always felt sorry for you because of what I did to you few years ago. Others kept telling me that it's not entirely my fault, but I can't get over it. Hence, I felt that I owed you. A real big one. Before this, I was really glad to have such a friend. I never thought a friend like you can do so much for me.
I admit occasionally I can be quite ridiculous. Giving you silent treatment all of a sudden. But before you start complaining, have you thought why I gave you those silent treatment? We've talked about it many times. You always say you understand. But to me, you never really did.
When you came to talk to me the other night, I confronted you. I thought you would admit to it. But instead, you lied straight to my face and covered it with another lie. I really almost fell for it another time. Until I discovered the truth behind those lies again. You must be thinking, why did I choose to believe in what others said and not you. Like I told you, if it comes from just one person, I might not believe in him/her. But if there's more than one, I can't find any reasons to convince myself that it's not the truth.
Discovering too much definitely isn't a good thing really. Those words are like imprinted on my heart. Its so hard to forget. I tried to remove it, but it's beyond what I can do. My heart just shattered into pieces whenever I think of you. Those words and things you did behind my back.
I really missed those days where we can smile and laugh together like there's no tomorrow. Every smile was from the heart. Pure genuine smiles. We can never go back to those days, cant we? I doubt so.
Sometimes I do wish I never knew the truth because it hurts so much. Not even once, I'd ever imagined that I could be hurt so badly. Till this very moment. It's because I've trusted you too much, that cause me to be hurt till this extend.
However, if it isn't because of the truth, I'll never know who are my true friends and wake up from this seems-to-be-perfect world of mine. It's time to face the reality. The reality that people are not as simple as what I used to think.
Thanks to the truth,
That it has make me a stronger person now.
