A Matter of Choice

Sometimes I really do regret for being a scholar. I know I should be grateful and in fact, I am. But why do I have to make choices? If it weren't for this, I would be happier there no? I wouldn't have to come back to this place. Its only the family and some friends that make me miss this place. Other than that, it just reminds me of those memories. Those memories that I do not want to remember them. If time can turn back, I would just listen to my dad, pay that amount and stay there. Never come back. Or perhaps one day, when I'm ready to come back.

Knowing What I Want

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The Heart

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The Ball

March and April have been really relaxing. Labs ended end of March and basically we just chilled around and occasionally, reading up journals to start writing up our dissertation. Then came Easter break! Which I've spent in Italy, my dream country. I seriously miss that place so so much. I'll definitely visit that place again, especially Rome *since I've made my wish at the Trevi Fountain* 

I've missed out so many blog post cause too much of journal readings just makes me a lazy girl. Now that work has been progressing well, gonna start updating again! Just read Hanny's blog and decided to write a similar one. Instead of babbling about the night and duplicating pictures which are already all over facebook, I think her idea was better. Looking at the past and see how much we've grown throughout these years.

'Afterglow' - HELP A-Levels Ball 2008
*With ze bestie; Siew Yee*

'Old Hollywood Glamour' - Nottingham Annual Ball 2010
*With the Randalamos*

'Rio de Janeiro' - Pharmacy Ball 2012

Cheers to the Pharmacists-to-be! 

In just less than 3 months time, we'll be seeing each other in our graduation robes!!! Can't believe 4 years of my university life just flew passed like this. I could still remember the days in my first year. Where I would be thinking; when will I get to fly over to the UK and when will I ever graduate. 4 years seems like a pretty long time for me that time. Now, I feel the 4 years is seriously way too short =( Part of me wants to graduate and stop worrying over exams and coursework. At the same time, there's also this part of me who is so reluctant to accept the fact that my student life is coming to an end and got to move on to a whole new stage of life. Not sure if working life is gonna be stressful but I just assumed, hence the NO! But reality is still reality >.<

Being fickle-minded, I cant decide where to do my pre-reg yettttt! *headache* 
Something for you and I to think about tonight.
Stay or not stay?
What say you?

Smile =)

I'm crazy!

I've been smiling the entire day.

For I-dont-know what reason.

Even when I'm listening to those super emo songs.

But but but.........

I LIKE!

Cause it's been awhile since I've had that smile!

Hopefully it'll last!

=D

*p/s: This picture was taken like a year ago. So, that's still the fat me. Which I totally don't miss =p*

Ugly Truth

For the past 1 month, my emotion has been like a roller coaster ride. Up and down, again and again. The cycle never ends.

Throughout these years, I thought you're someone that I could confide in whenever I have problems. I always felt sorry for you because of what I did to you few years ago. Others kept telling me that it's not entirely my fault, but I can't get over it. Hence, I felt that I owed you. A real big one. Before this, I was really glad to have such a friend. I never thought a friend like you can do so much for me.

I admit occasionally I can be quite ridiculous. Giving you silent treatment all of a sudden. But before you start complaining, have you thought why I gave you those silent treatment? We've talked about it many times. You always say you understand. But to me, you never really did.

When you came to talk to me the other night, I confronted you. I thought you would admit to it. But instead, you lied straight to my face and covered it with another lie. I really almost fell for it another time. Until I discovered the truth behind those lies again. You must be thinking, why did I choose to believe in what others said and not you. Like I told you, if it comes from just one person, I might not believe in him/her. But if there's more than one, I can't find any reasons to convince myself that it's not the truth.

Discovering too much definitely isn't a good thing really. Those words are like imprinted on my heart. Its so hard to forget. I tried to remove it, but it's beyond what I can do. My heart just shattered into pieces whenever I think of you. Those words and things you did behind my back.

I really missed those days where we can smile and laugh together like there's no tomorrow. Every smile was from the heart. Pure genuine smiles. We can never go back to those days, cant we? I doubt so.

Sometimes I do wish I never knew the truth because it hurts so much. Not even once, I'd ever imagined that I could be hurt so badly. Till this very moment. It's because I've trusted you too much, that cause me to be hurt till this extend.

However, if it isn't because of the truth, I'll never know who are my true friends and wake up from this seems-to-be-perfect world of mine. It's time to face the reality. The reality that people are not as simple as what I used to think.

Thanks to the truth,

That it has make me a stronger person now.

The Truth

Revealed.

A truth that was too cruel for me to accept.

But I know I must this time.

Cause I wouldn't want to let myself fall into that cycle ever again.

I was blinded before this.

But now,



This serves as a wake up call for me.

Or perhaps all of us.

Time to wake up from the fantasy world.